Blast from the Past # 7: House Broken

House Broken

There once was man who lived in a house. It was a very large house, and it stood on a huge plot, many, many miles from the nearest city or town. Even though the man had lived in the house for years and years, he had never found the time to explore even half of the rooms that the house contained.

The man truly loved his house, and seldom thought of anything else. He believed that his house loved him, as well. He would often talk to his house, and sometimes he could almost imagine that he heard it answer back.

One day, however, the man began to long for human companionship. It wasn't a particularly strong desire, as he had his house and knew he needed nothing else. But, the longing was there.

Finally, on a cool and clear morning in his forty-seventh year, the man set out to find someone with whom to talk. He walked for miles and miles before he encountered anyone, but eventually he came upon a young man standing at the edge of the road. He greeted the young man and promptly struck up a conversation with him.

After they had talked for several minutes, and the man had discovered that his companion had nowhere to stay, the man offered the hospitality of his large house. The young man, barely able to believe his sudden good fortune, immediately accepted.

So the man and the young man walked to the house and sat up for hours discussing such varied topics as politics, philosophy and the current state of the sport of baseball. When the man finally bade his guest "good night" and retired, he couldn't help but congratulate himself on his wise choice of companions.

When the man awoke the next morning, however, he discovered that the young man had fallen down a set of stairs in the night and broken his neck. After burying the young man's body in the back yard, the man journeyed out once more in search of someone to talk with.

Late in the afternoon he returned to his house with a girl whom he'd found playing in a field. The conversation that evening was somewhat restricted to dolls and colours and animals, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

However, the man was disappointed once again, as he found the next morning that the girl had drowned while taking a bath. Feeling slightly frustrated, the man nevertheless made several further attempts at locating a suitable companion. In each case, though, the guest seemed incapable of staying alive for more than a night or two.

The back yard was quickly becoming overrun with unmarked graves. The man soon realized that he was spending as much of his time digging and filling in holes as he was engaging in his much-sought-after conversation. So, with great reluctance, the man finally stopped going out in search of visitors, and settled back into his old routine.

He once again truly loved his house, and seldom thought of anything else. He believed that his house loved him, as well....