Friday, February 09, 2007

The Funny (And, Sadly, True) Story From This Week

I was in the elevator at work, going up to the 10th floor from the lobby, in the middle of the afternoon. I was coming back from having a chest x-ray taken, as part of my annual physical. I'd rushed out of the lab as quickly as I could, because I knew my parking meter had run out and didn't want to get a ticket (I didn't). Therefore I hadn't stopped to tuck in my shirt after changing back out of the oh-so-fashionable hospital gown, thinking I'd do it at work, since I had a winter coat to cover up the fact anyway.

So there I was in the elevator, by myself. Perfect opportunity to tuck in my shirt, I figured, what with the nine floor ride up. I'd just managed to undo my belt, and unzip my pants enough to let me slip my shirt tails in, when the elevator started to slow for a stop on the 3rd floor! I couldn't believe that anyone would actually be getting on the elevator, going up, at 3:45 in the afternoon - I mean, think about it! - but there it was! I tried to reverse my progress but immediately realized I wasn't going to make it and would be caught, quite literally, with my pants nearly down! All I could think to do was wrap my winter coat around me as subtly as I could just as the doors opened, hoping that my pants wouldn't slip between my fingers and slide down to my knees.

A delivery guy got on, pushed a button for a few floors up, and off we went! I was starting to sweat through my fake smile, trying to think about what I'd do if someone else got on, as I was pretty sure I couldn't have taken even a few steps without losing my drawers! Fortunately, the guy got off on an empty floor, and the doors finally closed behind him. I breathed for the first time in about sixty seconds, quickly zipped up, and buckled my belt, all before the 10th floor was reached.

I felt like I'd just lived through a sitcom moment, right there in my office building.

1 comment:

cjguerra said...

I think that I've had the same initial thought, but my experience has two key differences:

1) I've always been a "suck in your gut and shove" adjuster

2) I don't think the unexpected stop would phase me. May get that beet-red face, but I think I'd complete the process in as dignified a manner as possible.

Good recovery though - I'm sure the delivery guy has seen much worse. Probably more akin to what Mr. Hindle's observations in the City of Brotherly Love.

Plus it would be a better story if it was a female delivery person.

Even better if the elevator got stuck between the 3rd and 4th floors with a female delivery person.

I'd say, you were lucky.